Cheating

Yes, I cheated.  I had a handful of chips and two pieces of sugar free dark chocolate tonight.  It's friday and in this house, it means junk food night. I guess I didn't want to feel left out.  I was remarkably restrained.  Friday nights are traditionally a free for all.  We buy junkfood and pop and basically eat like pigs.  Over the past 3 months, I have been limiting the pop to 12 small bottles every weekend.  So 3 for each of us.  It's helped my youngest son lose a few pounds and saved my budget.  This was the first weekend I refused to drink pop and I was okay with that.

Every night, I stop eating at 7:30 because I am usually asleep by 10:30.  Tonight, since it's a weekend, I stay up a little later so my cut off time for eating was 8:30.  I ate good all day and my 'bedtime snack' was chips and chocolate.  I haven't had anything since and don't plan to until morning. 

There was a difference in the way I ate the 'junk' tonight.  I chewed every single chip with determination.  I let myself savor the flavour of salt and vinegar and made sure to thoroughly chew before swallowing.  I did the same with the chocolate; biting off small pieces and enjoyed every single sensation in my mouth.  Really, all I wanted was that handful of chips and two pieces of chocolate.  I was satisfied with that.  Would I have been last week? Probably not.  I probably would have scarfed down half the bag of chips and eaten an entire chocolate bar.

Yes, I cheated but this time was different.  This time I was conscious of what was going into my mouth.  This time, I enjoyed my food and this time, I was happy with what I had.